I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
God, I missed his penis.
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