I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize