Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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