I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize