Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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