I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize