I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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