I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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