don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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