didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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