I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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