I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize