JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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