he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
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Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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