So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize