I am spending my child support on dildos
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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