Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize