are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize