Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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