Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize