So drunk its hurt
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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