I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize