The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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