whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
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Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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