the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize