Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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