My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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