Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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