I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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