"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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