Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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