I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i already hear my dad disowning me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
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oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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