remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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