I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize