I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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