babies were throwing up all over the place
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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