She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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