Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize