I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize