Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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