i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
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If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
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I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Damn victory sex feels great
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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