i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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