apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize