i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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