I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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