look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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