So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
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so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
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I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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