Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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