it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize