I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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